Not sure if you’ve heard or not, but recently exited New York governor Eliot Spitzer AKA “Customer No. 9” was recently busted in a sex scandal for patronizing a prostitute. Of course you’ve heard! It’s only been on every freakin’ TV, radio, and internet news source since it went down. And why? Because we Americans have a fascination with something the Germans call “schadenfreude” which means “to take pleasure in other people’s misfortunes.” We love seeing celebrities and politicians’ lives in shambles. We need it like crack.
Trust me, I’m as sick of writing about it as much as I am hearing about it, but I have to chime in on this one to come to ‘ol Spitz’s defense from all the so-called moral conservatives and psychoanalysts who love making appearances on news shows to explain why Spitzer did what he did. They talk about how a man as driven and powerful as Spitzer, who made his mark as a ruthless crime fighter, had no choice but to become the very thing he condemns and that deep down in his psyche he wanted to get caught.
What a load of crap.
This may come as a shock but not everything men do has a psychiatric explanation leading back to some Freudian hypothesis about how mommy and daddy didn’t give him enough hugs as a child. Sometimes men just do stupid things when it comes to sex. Ladies, you have no idea what a horny man is capable of. The prospect of hot nasty sex can reduce a pretty intelligent dude into a lobotomized babbling idiot. Some will drive an hour at 3 am in below-zero weather if a booty call asks him to. Others will have sex in their fire truck even though they know it can get them fired (hey, I didn’t say me!) And yes, some will even cheat on their wives and risk their job as governor of one of the most powerful states in the country. Sometimes the little head does all the thinking for the big head. There’s no explaining it.
Now the generalization is that men hire prostitutes because they’re desperate and can’t get sex any other way—and I’m sure that’s true in a lot of cases. But I think the bigger picture is that some guys pay for sex simply because they’re willing to pay for quality. After all, I could go to Denny’s and get a steak, but I’d much rather go to Morton’s and pay a little extra for it. It’s the same with those high-priced escorts. Maybe Spitzer’s wife sucks in bed. Maybe she, like many married women, stopped giving him oral sex years ago. Maybe “Kristin” was willing to do things to him that we common folk only get to read about in “Penthouse Letters.” If you’re wealthy like Spitzer $4,300 isn’t a lot to pay for a little freaky-deeky.
Ain’t buying it? Well chew on this: sure Spitzer is a bald nerdy-lookin’ dude, but he held a very high position of power, and power is a big turn-on to a lot of women. I fathom to guess Spitz could have gotten laid pretty easily if he wanted to. But instead of settling for your standard run-of-the-mill New York trim he opted for the high-priced bad girl. Why? Quality, my friends, quality.
And speaking of his wife, how do we really know she wasn’t aware of Spitz’s little hooker hobby all along? I know it sounds absurd at first, but remember there was talk that Spitzer could one day become President of the United States. If you had a good shot at becoming first lady wouldn’t you stick around and look the other way?
Maybe some men pay for sex simply because it’s not that big a deal. Prostitution is legal in many countries, but Americans are so uptight about sex that we can’t grasp that concept. We think it’s dirty, demoralizing, and destined to destroy society—except, of course, when Julia Roberts plays one in a chick flick like “Pretty Woman.” Then we call it the feel good movie of the year. Go figure.
Even with it being illegal in this country getting busted patronizing a prostitute is only a misdemeanor. And it’s not like “Kristin” was sold into prostitution as a young child or was given a nightly beat-down by a mink coat-wearing pimp. She made over $80,000 from Spitzer over a few years. She was doing pretty well for herself. Sure sounds like a victimless crime to me.
So while I can understand why Spitzer and other men pay for sex, I don’t agree with what he did. Of course cheating is wrong, but we don’t know the whole scoop on their marriage either. And of course with having three young daughters at home he should have used a little better judgment. But hey, at least he got busted with a somewhat hot chick and not another dude in an airport bathroom, or worse yet, a very unhot chunky White House intern. Who would do something as stupid as that?
You can find out more about Jon at www.jonibrahim.com and make sure to check out his podcasts “The Fireman & The Shrink” and all the other cool sex stuff on NBC’s Better Sex page at www.nbc5.com/bettersex. You can email Jon at Sex911@nbc5.com