When it Comes to Sex There’s No Place Like Home

In sports, the home field advantage is coveted.  Teams do whatever it takes to secure the home field advantage for the playoffs.  Chicago is no exception.  At Wrigley the Cubs have the advantage with the rowdy bleacher crowd getting under the opposing teams’ skin with their relentless heckling.  The frigid Chicago weather is an advantage for the Bears when they host opponents visiting from warmer climates.  And the Blackhawks?  Well ok, they suck no matter where they play.  But you get the point.


The home field advantage is just as valuable in the game of sex as it is in sports.  When it’s time to close the deal with a girl and the age-old question, “Your place or mine?” pops up, I always choose “mine.”  Like athletes you have more confidence on your home soil.  Unfortunately we don’t have the cheering spectators to boost our confidence as they do in sports, although I did see my neighbors looking in my window once.


One of the biggest advantages, especially if you’re already at home before your guest comes over, is that you don’t have to drive anywhere.  One girl I dated lived in Gurnee.  That’s like almost to the Canadian border!  I hate driving, so if I can get the girl to come to me then it’s a score in and of itself.  Think about it:  when you order a pizza, would you rather pick it up or have it delivered?  Enough said.


How bout when you get that 2 a.m. phone call and she invites you to her place.  Now you have to get up, get dressed, blah blah blah.  With the home field advantage, you don’t even have to get out of bed.  If I know the girl well, I’ll tell her to just walk right in and come upstairs.  Then I unlock the door, jump back in bed, and get a few more minutes of shuteye until I wake up to her climbing in bed.  It’s like breakfast in bed with room service!


One thing I hate about going to her place is deciding when to leave afterwards.  I don’t want her thinking, “Man, when’s he leaving so I can go to sleep?”  When she’s at my place, that burden is on her.  My only decision is which side of the bed I want to sleep on.


The home field advantage also makes it a lot easier to provide protection.  At home I just have to reach for the “condom drawer.”  But when you’re at her place it’s not that easy.  I’m not the type of guy to carry condoms in my pocket.  That’s just tacky.  So what’s the alternative?  Well once I had to stop in the middle of foreplay, run down three flights of stairs half-dressed out into the cold to the car to get a condom.  By the time I got back to her I was so freakin’ cold that it took a while to get back in the swing of things.  Ever see a racehorse break stride during a race?  It’s an uphill battle from that point on.  That was me.


And at my place I’m more familiar with all the hot spots.  I know the good couches to have sex on.  I know that my bed is a good spot because it has a headboard you can grab onto.  I know which of the two showers give the most hot water.  I don’t know crap about her place.  I’d have to explore like Lewis and Clark but my place is already mapped out!


So you can see how having the home field advantage is truly an advantage.  If it’s a fact that athletes perform worse on the road than at home, why wouldn’t you use the same philosophy?  When it comes to sex Dorothy was right when she said, “There’s no place like home.”


Find out more about Jon at www.jonibrahim.com and make sure to check out his podcasts “The Fireman & the Shrink” and all the other cool sex stuff at NBC’s Better Sex page at www.nbc5.com/bettersex.  You can email Jon at sex911@nbc5.com.   


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