Sex isn’t just sex. There’s a bunch a different kinds. There’s make-up sex, revenge sex, hate sex, etc. One type of sex that seldom gets any press is distraction sex. It’s something I’ve had some experience with in my sex and dating career.
Distraction sex is sex you have with other people just to get your mind off the person you REALLY want to be having sex withk, and that person — your “Number One” — is likely someone you have feelings for. It could be a very recent ex that you haven’t gotten over yet or someone you’re casually dating, but either way, you wish it was something more. They’re on your mind so much that you resort to having casual sex with someone else to stop the emotional wheels in your head from turnin’. Like the song says, “if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”
The logic behind distraction sex is it’s an ego boost, which acts a good counter-balance to the low self-esteem you’re feeling from being without your Number One. It’s a quick ego pick-me-up. It says, “Hey dude, you’re still dead sexy and chicks still want you.”
The fact of the matter, though, is that distraction sex doesn’t work. It’s just a Band-Aid, and like a Band-Aid it doesn’t cure the wound, it just covers it up. After the sex is over and your guest is gone, you’re right back to yearning for Number One. In fact you’ll probably feel worse because you’ll be thinking, “Man, I wish I could’ve done that with ‘So-And-So.'” Don’t get me wrong, I would never say stop having sex if you can’t have it with Number One. I’m simply saying that for sex to be enjoyable, make sure you’re having it for the right reasons, not just as a distraction. After all, I could punch myself in the face to distract me from a sore back but somehow it just doesn’t make sense, does it?
You can find out more about Jon at www.jonibrahim.com and make sure to check out his podcasts “The Fireman & the Shrink” and all the other cool sex stuff at NBC’s Better Sex page at www.nbc5.com/bettersex. You can email Jon at firstname.lastname@example.org.