What Your Sex Numbers Say About You

Everyone would like to think they’re good in the sack.  I mean, really, who goes bragging that their nickname is Three-Pump Jonny?  (That’s just an example and in NO way meant to be taken seriously, by the way).  Similarly, guys don’t want their girls to be lame in bed either.  You may be thinking, “Not me, pal.  My girlfriend is crazy-freaky in bed, so there!”  If so, kudos; you’re one of the lucky ones.  But before you break your arm patting yourself on the back, riddle me this:  How do you think she got that way?


As much as you’d like to think you’re the all-masterful sex teacher that you are, chances are she had a little experience in learning those positions that could make Olympic gymnasts cringe.  Let’s explore further, shall we?


The amount of sexual partners you’ve had are your “numbers”.  Everyone’s got ‘em.  It’s your sexual resume, of sorts.  Some think that women with high numbers are sluts and guys with high numbers are players.  Fair labels?  Is there such as a thing as having too high a number?


One girl I polled says yes.  When asked what she would think of a 21 year old girl that’s been with 20 guys, she answered in one simple word, “Slut”.  Really?  Fascinating!  So then if 20 is too high a number, what’s the number that separates slut from normal?  10?  15?  She didn’t know, and believe it or not I don’t know either.  Weird, huh?


My friend Nicole thinks it’s not a matter of numbers, but a matter of frequency.  She thinks if you have sex with multiple partners in a short span of time, that’s when you approach slut status.  So then what’s the frequency and time span?  She didn’t know, and again I didn’t either.  See how perplexing sex numbers can be?  It’s like you need a physics degree just to have a sex life!


Speaking of sluts, what’s the definition of one anyway?  Nicole thinks it’s simply a girl who has high numbers.  I disagree though.  I think a slut is based on behavior, not actions.  A slut is a girl who brags about the sex she has.  It’s the girl who uses sex to get attention.  It’s the girl who you see making out with 6 different guys at the bar in one night.  You know–something you basically see on any given Saturday night at a Lincoln Park bar.  And if that’s you, don’t fret.  I’m not making fun of you.  Be the best slut you can be.  Who am I to judge?


So then is it acceptable for men to have higher numbers than women, even at the same age?  Every woman I asked said that although it isn’t fair, it’s acceptable, and actually expected, for men to have higher numbers.  Huh?  How does that even remotely make sense?  As a population wouldn’t male and female numbers generally be the same?  If ours are higher as a whole then doesn’t mean we men are having sex with the same small group of high-numbered women?  That’s just plain wrong on so many levels.  Gotta love the double standard, huh?


I guess in the end numbers don’t mean anything because you’ll never get the truth anyway.  Girls always drop their numbers while men always round theirs up.  Why would you purposefully place yourself in the “double condom required” category simply because you confessed your high numbers?  Your numbers are personal.  They’re not for bragging.  Reporting your true numbers will just open yourself up to scrutiny and judgment.  No good can come of it.  It’s like handing Naomi Cambell a cell phone and then daring her to whip it at you.  I think we all know how that would turn out.


8 Responses to What Your Sex Numbers Say About You

  1. gosh, so i shouldn’t have dropped my numbers that first night we met? 🙂

  2. marcus says:

    If a girl were to ask what my sex number was, first of all, I would never enter or encourage that conversation in the first place — you’re right, no good can come out of it. If I were to go there, as a guy, I would never round up. I’m not sure that would make her feel very special. I think a more appropriate question would be to ask when last she’s been tested for HIV and STDs — and have your paperwork ready as well, but sadly, that conversation rarely happens in this day and age, despite the statistics that prove that it should.

  3. Becky says:

    If your partners were part of loving relationships, then it’s different than just sleeping around just for sex.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I have to agree with you on the statement that “a slut is based on behavior, not actions.” It is how a woman carries herself not how many sexual partners she has had, there is a difference between classy and trashy. As long as you are safe and happy that is all that should matter. And Marcus that should be a question to ask, I would have no problem asking or answering it. 🙂

    As far as experience or numbers, I think the truth will come out in the bedroom, actions speak louder than words!

  5. Rae says:

    Well, apparently, I’m a slut now. Ha!

    I have a high number and a low age. But I wouldn’t go around bragging about it. Everyone knew about it, but I just didn’t sleep with someone and spill. I made rational choices to sleep with each and every guy I slept with (some could have been better decisions if I was not hammered, but that is besides the point). I was always 100% safe and got tested regularly. I think because I was, and still am, responsible in my actions that it is OK to be free with sex. I enjoy it and if sleeping with multiple people makes me a whore then I guess I will have to own that label.

    There is no reason to be ashamed for your sexual past. How else would you know all those little tricks that your boyfriend or girlfriend finds so irresistible? When my current boyfriend asked me a round about number I gave him the real number, he was shocked. Like I said, I’m a high number. But I told him I am not sorry for any of it. I had the time of my life doing it…and all the guys!

    Own your number. It made you who you are and no one should tell you that you’re a slut for sleeping with multiples, it was experimentation….like why buy the cow with out tasting the milk first. Why would I want to commit to a bad sexual relationship?

  6. CHYANNE says:

    I am a New Yorker. All your column does is brag about all the sex guy can get. As for numbers darlin,,,,,,,,,,that’s all they are , just a number a guy or gal makes up to feel popular. My question to you is WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT FUCK BUDDIES? Personally I think it’s just a copout for people that can’t get sex by just being themselves. I have friends in Chicago that told me about your column. Do women really have to be just another notch on u guys bedpost?

  7. Felicia says:

    Great post! My husband and I have been together for 9 years. I was always very happy with our sex life. Over the past few months we have opened up to each other, asking and answering questions for wach other. What a difference! Our sex life now is to a point that jusy makes me glow, with both memories of the last encounter and anticipation of the next. My sex number? MUCH higher than my husbands. Although
    I have had more partners. he has had more varying experiences. It was hot to listen to each other and get some insight on what makes eash other purr…

  8. xuxppxxuxyyy says:

    hello it is test. WinRAR provides the full RAR and ZIP file support, can decompress CAB, GZIP, ACE and other archive formats.

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